Just like the first chapter of a new book determines whether you are going to read it all the way through or the first bite of a meal determines whether you are going to enjoy the rest of it or not, the first date plays a crucial role in determining the trajectory of a potential relationship. It is not only the first impression of the other person; by the end of the first date, you can decide whether there will be a second date or the person will be pushed into the friend zone, or he/she may be the husband/wife material.
A first date conversation can reveal a person’s ambitions, principles, expectations, and intentions with the relationship. In short, how well a first date goes can make or break your relationship. That is why first-date tips are so important!
How Do People Usually Feel About the First Date?
Whether you are a man or a woman, and you followed all the first date tips and first date advice that was dished to you or not, the first date brings with it a myriad of mixed emotions. You might feel excited to meet this person you have been chatting with for so long on a dating app while simultaneously feeling anxious or nervous about the possibility that they might not be as charming, smart, or funny in real life as they are behind a screen. You might even feel immense pressure about whether you picked the right place for the first date, whether you are dressed appropriately or not, or whether they will even like you. As a plus-size single, one of your biggest fears on a first date is being stood up by someone who probably saw you before you did and left.
However, the magnitude of emotions might indeed vary from person to person. Those who have been loyal members of the dating pool for a long time tend to be more confident. They know what to wear, how to act, talk about, and how to sweep their date off their feet. However, those who are relatively new to the club might face some difficulties holding up a conversation on the first date or being able to woo their date. Therefore, some of the first date tips and first date ideas mentioned in this article try to help people overcome feelings of doubt, nervousness, and anxiety they feel on a first.
There is no denying that first dates are tough. You can take all the first date advice & first date tips you want to and have all these good first date ideas, but it boils down to how well you perform when your date shows up. However, what’s easy to tell is if the date went well or not. There are so many signs everywhere- the first date conversation might be flowing naturally, and you are contributing equally, the date goes longer than planned, you did not look at your phone once throughout the date or ring up your friend to rescue you and what not! Some people might even laugh at the same jokes, finish each other sentences, mirror each other’s actions, or already plan a future together! The biggest sign? You don’t want the date to end, and you can’t wait to see them again!
If you are having trouble making your way from the first to the second, here are some tried-and-tested first date tips to help you navigate that tricky terrain of a first date. We have mentioned specific first date tips for men and first date tips for women while also listing down some good first date ideas for plus-size singles.
First Date Tips- the Do’s
Here is some valuable first date advice you must keep in mind and follow the next time you are off to meet a potential partner.
1. Pick the right place.
The first part of the first date is the most crucial- picking the right location. The purpose of the first date is to have some quality first date conversation to get to know one another and see how well you can connect with the other person. People often make the mistake of picking a fancy place like a high-end restaurant which either puts too much pressure on the date or makes you look like you are trying too hard, which is definitely a huge turn-off. Others pick a very loud and lively place, like an amusement park or the movies, which kills the purpose of a first date conversation. Therefore, for quality time, to pick a relaxed, lighthearted, and low-key place. A local bar or a new coffee shop is just the right, casual setting for quality time and some winning conversation.
2. Engage in Quality Conversation
This one is definitely a showstopper when it comes to first date tips. Moreover, it can also be categorized under ‘first date tips for men’ as many of them resort to cheesy pick-up lines and empty compliments to fill up the verbal space on a date. While on the other hand, studies have shown that women prefer more interesting, intellectually stimulating conversations that discuss life ambitions, career goals, personal details, and even stories about one’s childhood.
Another mistake that people often make on a first date is not to have a 2-way conversation. They are either talking about themselves throughout the night or not giving anything away at all. Details must be shared, and questions must be asked from both sides. Reciprocity in conversation is definitely some great first date advice.
3. Dress well
This one can fall under both ‘first date tips for men’ and ‘first date tips for women.’ It is extremely crucial to dress appropriately for a first date. People often make the mistake of wearing something too fancy in a failed attempt to look nice or something too casual to ‘play it cool.’ When honestly, stilettos do not work on a coffee shop date, and neither does a pair of sweatpants that make you look like you just got out of bed!
It is important to dress neatly and comfortably and wear something that makes you feel confident. Some good first date ideas would be to snap on a pair of flats instead of heels and swap out the sweatpants with a pair of jeans and an ironed shirt for a finessed look. When it comes to the wardrobe of a plus-size single, some good first date ideas would involve dresses that accentuate and celebrate your curves.
4. Be authentic
Talking about first date tips, this one goes out to all the plus-size singles. At some point in their life, every plus-size person has experienced rejection, criticism, and even harassment because of their size and weight. This has led to a major deficit in self-confidence and self-love. While many refrain from even jumping into the dating pool, others tend to act a certain way to hide their ‘flaws’ or act in a certain way to impress the other person. One of the best first date tips given to BBW singles is: to be yourself. It is important to be confident in yourself and embrace yourself with all your quirks and imperfections. Do not try to hide them or shy away from them. Because the right one will not like you despite them, but for them!
5. Be mindful of your body language
This one again falls in the category of first date tips for men and women. Your body language is an important part of non-verbal communication. It is absolutely normal to feel nervous on a first date but letting that overwhelm you, for example, fidgeting or anxiously biting your nails, can be a major turn-off. On the other hand, people who constantly check their phones or look at their watch blatantly show disinterest or boredom. One of the best first date tips is to present yourself in a confident, engaged, and interested manner. Avoid nervously shaking your leg, fidgeting, or looking around the room, and most definitely put your phone away. Small bodily cues are great first date tips to show interest and confidence. And you can lean forward when talking, making eye contact, and passing compliments.
6. Be relaxed
When we talk about first date tips for women, this one tends to have more significance. This is because women tend to put more pressure on the outcome of the date and often act self-consciously. However, it is important to go with the flow and remember that the purpose of the first date is not to find a life partner but to make a connection good enough to take you to a second date. It is important to relax and enjoy yourself.
7. Give Compliments
When it comes to first date tips, this one goes out to all the boys! Make sure you compliment your date on things besides her physical appearance. For example, her sense of humor, taste in books, witty conversation, etc. This will make you look genuine and thoughtful.
8. Stick to a budget
Still, looking for first date tips? Here’s a good one, especially for the men. It’s okay to spend on dates, but doing that in a disciplined manner is equally important. Firstly, it lets you enjoy a date without stressing over money. Secondly, it makes you look like a responsible, potential partner.
First Date Tips – the Absolute Red Flag Behaviors You Should Avoid (the Don’ts)
Now that we have talked about the do’s of first date tips let’s look at the don’ts!
1. Being late
Showing up late for a date leaves a horrible first impression and portrays you as a disinterested person. This can annoy your date, who might end up leaving before you arrive. If it’s unavoidable, please text them and let them know about the delay.
2. One-sided conversations
Having a quality conversation definitely makes it to the top of the list when it comes to first-date tips. However, this cannot be achieved if you do not ask questions and only talk about yourself. Asking questions reflects interest and engagement. One of the best first date ideas is to think ahead of questions before arriving for the date.
3. Do not wear revealing clothes
Looking for first-date tips for women? This is a good one. Dressing in a confident, comfortable, and casual manner is crucial. Avoid wearing something that makes you look ‘easy’ or ‘desperate.’
4. Do not show off
Talking about your income, possessions, or talents in a boastful manner can be a huge turn-off for some people. Whether you are bragging about your million-dollar house or traveling first-class to another country, it can be arrogant and self-centered.
5. Poor table manners
When it comes to first date tips, this is another important one. This can include anything from overindulging in alcohol, being rude to the service staff, tipping poorly, fidgeting with cutlery, eating with your mouth open, or talking while your mouth is full. Avoid all of these at every cost.
6. Avoid self-depreciation
Talking about first date tips, this one is for the BBW singles out there. Being humble and modest is good; having low self-esteem is not. The latter is quite common in plus-size singles, so they are advised to stay confident and self-assured. It’s good to embrace your flaws but not to reveal all of them on the first date.
7. Past relationships and exes
When it comes to first date ideas, talking about your past relationships is definitely a bad one! Doing so will make you look like you haven’t truly moved on and are unprepared for a new relationship.
8. Using foul language
This can be a bit of a deal-breaker for some people when it comes to first date red flags. Talking in a loud, disrespectful manner, and abusing, or using foul language is generally unacceptable.
What Do You Need To Do After a First Date That Went Well?
Imagine that you followed all the first date tips; you had a great time, filled with some quality conversation and great laughs- all in all, one hell of a successful first date! But what to do next? What needs to be done after a first date goes well?
The first thing you need to ask yourself is whether you see the potential for a second date. There are times when you are quite confident that you want to see them again. Under such circumstances, you can end the date with ‘I had such a great time today. Would love to meet up again soon. Maybe we can do hamburgers and shakes instead of coffee this time.’ This shows that you are willing to take the next step-another one of our first date tips!
Further reading: What Questions Should You Ask on the Third Date?
However, it is also perfectly normal to take some time and sit back. Then decide if you want to go on a second date. One of the best first date tips is to understand that if you had a good time on the date, it does not imply that the person is a good fit for you in the long term. Take time to evaluate your similarities and differences in life goals, ideologies, and lifestyles. Be mindful of how good a fit your expectations from the relationship are with your potential partner.
Another one of our useful first date tips to determine whether you are ready to move forward is to notice if you are planning your future with them or not. If yes, then you are ready! You might end up stalking their social media to learn more about them, their family, or their social circle. You might even discuss them with your friends and family to get their input (another one of our tried-and-tested first date tips). Not to forget, you might be planning or mapping out your next date or even anxiously waiting for them to make the next move.
Now that you have determined that you want to stay in touch with them and explore the potential of a possible relationship, you must find an optimum time to text them after the first date, telling them you had a great time. Another one of our valuable first date tips is not to follow the 3-day rule. It means that texting the next day looks needy and the second day looks planned, but the third day is just the right amount to wait.
In fact, according to the CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking, you must send a ‘thank you’ text in the next 24 hours of the first date. The key is to keep it simple: ‘Hey, I had such a blast last night. Thank you for your time, and oh, the coffee too! At this point, it is best to avoid asking for a second date, as it would seem like you are a little too interested.
However, this does not imply that you completely ghost the other person to feign a lack of interest. Pour one for ‘playing it cool’ as the concept is dead! Regardless of your gender, it is perfectly okay to show interest if it is appreciated and reciprocated. It is advised to wait for 3 to 5 days before you ask out on a second date, provided that you got a response to the thank you text, maybe even followed by some light conversation over the days. However, the latter is not a necessity. If you did not get a response to the thank you text, it is best to move one.
Conclusion
First dates can be quite nerve-wracking. It’s quite normal to feel anxious, unsure, and even excited. Even if you follow all the first date tips and execute some awesome first date ideas in terms of location, conversation, or wardrobe, there is no guarantee that the date will be successful. Sometimes, no matter how kind, confident, and charming you are, you are not a good fit for them, but the rejection is beneficial for you in the longer run.
However, we hope that these first date tips in this article will help turn your grey skies blue. Whether there is a second date or not, here are some sincere wishes you can make for your first date partner:
- “I had such an awesome time with you. Hope to meet up soon.”
- “I had a great time with you. You seem like a thoughtful person. However, I feel like we are very different people, and, unfortunately, I do not see a future for us. Good luck with your future.”
- “I love that you are so passionate about your career. I see great potential for both of us in the future.”
